Thursday, June 16, 2011

Elvis left the building

All of human life is behind these bars, though we do seem to be afflicted by a disproportionate number of fantasists. I've met more SAS troopers and millionaires than your average arms salesman.
The young are particularly afflicted with this syndrome, which reached its peak for me as a YP. Lord knows how the conversation started but it ended up with my being offered a case of M-16 rifles....
And by two different people! One was a greasy-haired stutterer we knew as Bullshit Brucie, the other was a Brummie rapist with the improbable name of Elvis Presley.
Competing for my custom for this mythical arms deal, their lies grew ever greater and their prices dropped ever lower. It ended with them swinging for each other and rolling around the workshop floor, each accusing the other of lying...
And 25 years on, I'm still waiting for my guns!


  1. Ha Ha, i met loads of people full of shit in jail. Wouldn't say much about my brains if i couldn't figure out what type of person they were after a 10 minute conversation. Having said that, bullshit is not exclusive to jail. I once, in my younger days worked in a pub. If i had everything everyone promised me, i'd need a lorry to take it away in, and a warehouse to store it in.

  2. There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx

  3. Re: "All of human life is behind these bars, though we do seem to be afflicted by a disproportionate number of fantasists."

    Take a look over at:


  4. Just looked at JHL's blog ... I am shocked, the words 'stitch up' come immediately to mind. Its good that this has been leaked though, it might help prevent a sell out, a dirty deal, or it might be too late already, I dunno.

    Don't compromise Ben, you are in the right, it is illegal to keep you locked up, you pose no threat to life and limb. You should be released without being bullied and made to do deals. You have a right to your freedom. Simple.

  5. Just how will the authorities try and slip out of this one?.

    'Let the games begin'

  6. People doing crimes are only getting bars. A proverb is there good man get heaven and bad boys get women. But here something opposite is happening...LOL.....Kidding....

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