How long after release will seemingly normal activities be overshadowed by the meanings given to them by my prison life?
On home leave I could have gone to the cinema but the instant the Editor raised the suggestion I felt a great resistance. It swiftly dawned on me why. It is because communal screen-watching in prison, exemplified by the old TV rooms, were not only places for shared activity. Oh no; the darkness gave rise to sudden attacks by blade or boiling water as well as a chance to watch EastEnders.
It was this distant memory of darkened rooms being a source of potential danger that rose from my guts at the thought of going to the cinema.
And that makes me ponder the insidious effects of imprisonment, and wonder what other unexpected shadows may rise from within in the future?
These things can pop up from time to time! But look at it like this? If you were use to a mouse dancing on your pillow each night, when finally free, would you go out and buy a mouse, just for it's dancing lessons alone?
ReplyDeleteSudden attacks by blunt fource. You should be well aware of the effects of this.
ReplyDeleteAnon, I am very aware of the effects. Cheap shot but I accept what you say with the personal venom you intend. Ben.
ReplyDelete