Cucumbers

There are a whole raft of nicknames both cons and staff use for sex offenders, particularly those who are segregated for their own protection.

This used to be done under Rule 43, now Rule 45. Hence, a man in protection was "on the numbers". Numbers = cucumbers. Simple, innit?

Sex offenders are most commonly called "nonces". The origins of this are lost in time, though there are several plausible sources. Some years ago, in a fit of professionalism, a governor ordered the screws to stop using the term "nonce". And so the screws began to call sex offenders "stills".

I was daft enough to inquire as to why? Obvious, really, once they told me. . .
"Because they are STILL fuckin’ nonces!"

Better to Live with Nonces than Grasses

So, who would you rather share your garden fence with a bushwhacker or kiddie fiddler, or some grassing bastard?

Out there, where I suspect most of you are not up to that much that can be seen as shady, then I suppose that having to live surrounded by grasses is not much of an issue. You'd tend to be a tad more wary of the bloke with the ski-mask, duct-tape and knife.

Here, things are different. Much of what we do is against some rule or other and, coupled with powerlessness, grasses can cause huge damage. And you don't even have to be doing anything; a 'note in the box' accusing you of whatever may be sufficient to have you lifted, slung in solitary and shipped out, affecting your security categorisation and progress to release. This is why grasses are so frowned upon. They are dangerous.

Sex cases, on the other hand, pose less of a threat in here (though I'd probably draw the line at sharing a cell with a gay rapist). This particular nick runs the Sex Offender Treatment Programme (SOTP), so a large minority of cons have shady offending histories. My view is one of broad indifference - I killed someone, I'm hardly in a good position to go around passing moral judgements on others.

And so, in this Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass world, it is far better to live with rapists and child molesters than with grasses. I can only add that, not for the first time, I realise how weird prison can be.