Friday, July 22, 2011


Why are we prohibited from taking our cup of tea or bottle of water on exercise periods in our compound? This is done for "health & safety grounds".

It has been suggested that I may have a malign and creative turn of mind but even I can't think of what wickedness could flow from walking about with a plastic bottle of water.

Any ideas? I promise not to pass them on to the lads.


  1. tsk! more moaning Ben, yawn!

  2. wickedness could flow from walking about with a plastic bottle of acid : )

  3. Hydrophobia:

    Or 'Watergate' perhaps...?

  4. You could slosh the water about, saying "Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...", in front of those with a known condition of cystitis, or gonorrhoea; such as Kevin Wbster.


  5. Oh....have some imagination.

    I assume packets of peanuts are not unknown in prison. Poor the residue into a bottle of water, and then chuck it into the face of someone with a severe nut allergy.

    Or if it is in a thermal flask, and loaded with sugar, if it is chucked at someone the sugar will cause the water to stick to the skin and cause the burning to go on and on.

    Of course, I am sure that these methods of weapon making are already known to those in prison, and could be carried out in anyplace and not just the yard. So that doesn't explain the ban on taking it to the yard. Unless of course the yard is an easier place to escape from and the "weaponry" could be used to briefly overpower the guards and make a dash for it.

    nb: this is not the product of a twisted mind. The peanut idea is from the Da Vinci Code and the sugar and water from a prison scene in "Criminal Justice."

  6. Are you allowed to see their risk assessment?
    There is a risk assessment, isn't there?

  7. Impromtu waterboarding? Malicious spreading of Mono? Stabbing through sternums (sp?) with your teacups, a la Vin Diesel in Chronicles of Riddick?

  8. If you have a rat or mouse problem you can use plastic bottles to catch them!
    Get a bucket and some peanut butter or something pastey that mice eat...

    Fill bucket with water... cut a slit into the plastic bottle about half way down, so you can then slide it on the edge of the bucket.. have to mouth piece in the inside of the bucket.
    Now, add your peanut butter or whatever into the very edge of the mouth piece bit so its actually in the neck bit.. so a mouse could nearly get his tongue in to lick it...
    Now get a rag.. sticky tape it to the base of the bottle so it hangs down, giving the mouse something to crawl up onto..

    The way it works is... the mouse.rat climbs up the rag onto the top of the bottle.. they walk along the bottle, they smell the pastey stuff, they try to get it.. as they try, they slip and fall into the bucket of water! Dead MICE!

    Maybe not useful in prison.. but its fun to make lol..
    We are having a mice plague at the moment in Oz so its been crazy! I only just tried it myself and after having it out in the shed for 3 days i caught about 10mice.. ewwwww

  9. sorry u have to half only fill the bucket a third of the way full ... i think i need a pic to show u guys what i mean lol

  10. @ Huntress78

    I think I can picture it. If my mental image is right, the bottle is basically just there to hold the peanut butter and make it difficult for the mice to get at so they'll overbalance while trying. Is that right?

  11. i think you have the idea Jess lol.. im not sure if our visuals are matching tho :p