Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Herding Cats

Two - or more - years ago when it appeared that I was in danger of being released by the parole board, the Editor bought a kitten for me. Alas, my release didn't happen at that point. And the Editor's incumbent cat, Henley, was so underwhelmed by the new fluffball's appearance that he packed his bags and went to live in the garden shed. He has refused to enter the house ever since.

The kitten, Bella, grew up and had four kittens of her own. In another fit of optimism the Editor decided to keep one kitten for me; the other three were adopted by neighbours. Given the vagaries of the parole board,  that kitten, Jack, has itself now grown up. And the Editor decided that we had reached the natural ecological balance between cats, humans and wildlife in this little rural enclave.

As all sensible people know, when you move into a home then making friends with the cats is a vital part of the process. And quite simple - I fed them. Twice. Detente now reigns, although I am having to watch where I place my feet as they park themselves seemingly at random around the house and garden.

You will, I hope, have an inkling that the Editor has created a warm and welcoming nest, a place for us to grow into the future. This home leave is my first experience of so very many things and the Editor is making the whole experience seem effortless.

Reality does intrude. I now have to go off and report to Probation.


  1. Ahh, remember, you don't own cats, cats own you ;p

    Better than dogs, dogs are just doormats, do as they're told, cats do as they like ^^

  2. This morning I discovered the secret to achieving cat-human equilibrium: still warm, diced pork sausages. And now I have to spend a little time planning the journey back tomorrow...It all seems slightly unreal. Today I am sitting here in the conservatory, a cat draped across the back of the sofa, writing this on a wireless laptop, wondering what to have for lunch and whether to take a walk by the canal this afternoon. Tomorrow, I will be back in my cell, re-engaging with the machinations of life on the landings. It makes no sense to me; they may as well just let me remain here, just mail me my release papers! Positively, though, this criminologically uneventful home leave adds to the evidence that I am ready to be released soon.

  3. glad things are going well and hope that you'll be permanently home soon.

  4. Does this trip home mean a better quality profile picture?

  5. I imagine it must be quite amazing to have the doors starting to open like this...I'm thinking of it from a perspecive that could be Spoon's who have little chance of ever stepping outside. I know he is wondering how reality outside would hit him if...
    Spoon's editor

  6. I can't believe you have serviced so many years over your sentence or tariff shall we say? my partner is inside and has been for 13 years a tariff of 15 for a murder when he was 21. he was heavily into drugs, his childhood was horrific, turned to burglaries to feed his habit,thats when he committed his offense under the influence not knowing even now, well remembering, what every detail. he is now clean and has been for 9 years ulmost, he wants a normal quiet life. he also is very intellegent and has just started an open university course. I know for sure if parents looked and loved their children and their was no horrid abuse of any kind then the majority of the prison would be empty. il write again Ben, take care

  7. Never forget they can take it all away from you at any point they won't, sorry the truth is the truth, you know it and I know it, it happens all the time, piss in the wrong place and your back! With u ben, I hope that when/IF u do get parole you never go back!
    To think that this is all being done in our name, "public protection" I'd like to opt out!
    Come to think of it I never opted in!
    Later dude? Enjoy your self...