Saturday, October 6, 2012

Career Change

There are those days when time sometimes seems to disappear, vanish in the drudgery of "stuff". Today I awoke with a mental list of things needing to be done and those not involving work, money or writing stay in that part of my mind labelled "ah well, got to be done". Highlights on that list include the physiotherapist (my back) and then my weekly session with Probation. The physio tells me that I have to learn how to breath again in a different way...makes me wonder quite how I've stayed alive all these years.

Having said Nein, Nope, Never Gonna Happen, to my request for a long weekend in Cornwall then I didn't have high hopes for my plea to accept an invitation for a quiet few days up in the Spanish mountains....And I wasn't surprised by their response - "local policy" says no foreign travel in my first year. Hmmm, may take a quick legal opinion on that one! They did give me good news on whether I could take forward a job opportunity though, and I can say more about it late next week I hope.

And I left Probation with a conundrum. When is "work", "work"? Because even voluntary work I do has to be okayed by them. So when someone threw me some paperwork and asked for my opinion, (no fee!), and I unthinkingly said I'd be pleased to pitch in.....turns out I may be in breach of my Licence. Oops. So can I help the neighbours mow their lawn, or is that "work"? Or answer any of the phonecalls and emails asking for this or that, free out of my large store of opinions? Probation are getting back to me on this. Can't wait. They may get me out of some housework!

This lot having taken a large chunk out of my working day I was looking forward to getting home, logging on and being productive. Along the way I picked up a DVD player and a large raincloud which hampered my every attempt to make a rollup.

After a mile walk from the bus in the rain I found myself standing, dripping and befuddled, at my door. The key wouldn't work. Twisting and turning, jiggling and bobbing, the damn thing just wouldn't unlock. Feeling rather miffed as well as sorry for myself I rang the Editor. "It just takes some jiggling and patience", she said and so I continued to bob and weave with Chubbs finest. It was, Dear Reader, a porky - as she left, the Editor had locked the door with the secondary lock, the one I thought we had stopped using.

Hmm. Faced with a locked door and pouring rain I retreated to the pergola for a fag and a ponder. I sat dripping and smoking, with Henley the cat seeming to share my broad disgust with the situation as he sheltered from the rain under my chair. Again I called the Ed., suggesting I climb through a particular window. She was adamantly against. And I was equally certain that sitting in the rain until she returned in 6 hours time was really, really not ideal.

To the neighbours. The only person in the immediate vicinity who knows my identity, she was more than happy to cough up a ladder, knife, and assurance to back me up if someone saw me and called the Old Bill. Armed and desperate, the ladder against the wall and I assaulted the bedroom window... Have you ever tried to break into your own house but look as if you are doing something completely innocent? It isn't easy...

Prodding, poking, writhing and twisting, I finally persuaded the window to open and squeezed myself into the house and out of the rain. And decided I was far too ancient and lazy to opt for a career in housebreaking.


  1. I have not had to break into my house (Though I have a pretty good idea of how to go about it.) I do have a friend who was alarmed to see, from a block away, that someone was breaking into her house, only to discover that it was her younger brother, who had forgotten his key.

  2. My husband once had to break into our house when our (then) toddler managed to lock him in the back garden (don't ask!) while I was at work.

  3. Although messing about with locks in the rain can be annoying, it's definitely advisable to (always) use the deadlock. Yale-type locks (alone), are easily circumvented.

  4. We've all been there. Have to ask though, if you'd been in jail for burglary, would that have counted as work?

  5. Great Blog - needed some entertainment as I have had the flu - many thanks. Not sure what Probation would make of you 'home breaking' as they can make any action into a negative one if they choose! Perhaps you and the Ed should both have the same keys - would hate to see you recalled for breaking your licence!

    Hope all goes really well with the job and will be interested to hear the legal view on whether you should be allowed to go to Cornwall and/or Spain. Keep us informed.

  6. Been there...was interesting trying to explain to the (not so nice) police officers that turned up having been called by some random stranger passing the house that it was my house and I was perfectly entitled to break-in to it if I so wished.

  7. Andy S... That was a fantastic quote, very funny.


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