Only on the Landings...

A fellow lifer comes to my cell/advice centre, complaining that they are trying to enrol him on a psychology based course intended to deal with his criminal ways.

We examine the criteria for the course: to rate High on a risk assessment and have four previous convictions for violence. I ask the obvious - "How many previous do you have?" "Two", he says flatly. I raise an eyebrow. He shifts his eyes, shrugs his shoulders, and says, "Oh, well, if you’re going to count the murders…."