Thursday, September 13, 2012

Alienation

My 22 days in freedom, so far, have largely gone exceptionally well. Emotionally I am dealing with a range of new demands and a stream of new experiences.

Until....the other day I was sitting in one of the many enticing squares in the city of Bath, cafes on all sides, piggybacking on their WiFi. I looked around me and took a breath... It hit me like a tsunami. The contrast between this part of my life and the last 32 years suddenly became too great and I felt a profound sense of alienation.

Was this my world? I felt estranged from it, unconnected to all the other souls enjoying the space and the sun in that moment. The Editor arrived; I felt settled again.

22 comments:

  1. Proves that you have no idea about the real world after having been banged up for over 30 years.Wont be long before your back inside as you'll not be able to cope for long.This time take a friend as my pension depends on it-saddo!

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    Replies
    1. Given your pension depends on prisoners being inside, I presume you are an employee of the prison service. It's great to know that those in charge of our institutions are invested in rehabilitation and reducing recidivism and see those in their care as human beings.

      You've done a great deal today to change perceptions of prison officers by the readers of this blog.

      Delete
    2. Given its your job to prevent crime, your attitude shows you are completely unsuitable to do it. Hoping someone commits a crime so you can get a financial reward means you are just as bad as the drug dealers and thieves that are in the prison service.

      I hope you can take a good hard look at your attitude and can think about what is going wrong. The fact you think that Ben will re-offend means that you, as a part of the prison service, believe that you are failing to prevent crime. Why is that happening? What can you do to solve that? And why, above all, do you seem to be gleeful over a demonstration that you have failed at your task?

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    3. beyond sad- at least have the guts to put your name on here.
      Johnnyh

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    4. I'm sorry, are you under the misapprehension that any of Ben's regular readers are unaware that his real name is John? Or that he goes by Ben because it is a long held nick name? Because we know that, have done for a very long time. Sorry to bust your bubble, but it's no secret.

      Perhaps you'd like to follow your own advice and have the guts to use your own name here? No? I thought not.

      Delete
  2. Ah, the good and the brave arrive - cloaked by anonymity, lol. I am coping very well, thank you for your concern. Just been interviewed by ITN, about to cook some breakfast then hit the Net jobhunting.

    And thank you, from the deepest part of my heart, for reinforcing all my views about prison staff....

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  3. My only experience of prison officers comes from watching Porridge, so I'll move swiftly on.

    What sort of jobs are you looking for/at, Ben? Do you want to get out and about, or would something from home seem more appealing?

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    Replies
    1. I am mainly sticking to where my main talents lie - I can go through paperwork like a shredder! So admin type stuff really, though I can lay claim to talents from conflict resolution to strategic analysis. Anything really!

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    2. Right now Ben, the Royal Mail is starting this years xmas postal campaign for casuals. It's a few weeks of hard graft, and will help the c.v.

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  4. If our first delightful contestant is in fact a PO, then it confirms the perception that these are people who desperately wanted a job where they could,

    a) wear a smart uniform,
    b) have complete power over people, and
    c) abuse their power with almost total impunity,

    but who were not intelligent enough to become car-park attendants, so had to work as screws instead.

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  5. Correct & a bloody good screw at that!My concern is for the VICTIMS not the maggots.Au revoir!

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    Replies
    1. In which case, one has to ask why you are a Prison Officer, who only gets to see the Perps, and not a Police Officer, who deals with the Victims as well.

      Were you not smart enough to pass the 2 O-Levels required to become a copper?

      I always did wonder why Prison Officers had so much trouble reading or understanding the words "RULE 39" on my letters, now I know. if you are a good one (top 10%?) then the rest must be REALLY bad.


      Ben, good to see you are getting things together. Don;t be afraid to ask for help from the local jobclub and similar.

      Delete
  6. Anon@10.53am

    Your post not only confirms that brains are not a prerequisite for the Prison Service. It demonstrates quite nicely the mindset of someone who (in common prison parlance) would be known as ‘A Dog Screw’.

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  7. Please don't leave us! Unless it was all getting too difficult for you...? Because I'd love to know how you reconcile being "a bloody good" screw and being concerned with victims with your desire that I reoffend? This insight into the screws mentality is truly a joy to behold, and you have done more than I could to change opinions of your clan in minutes than I have in years. Bloody well done!

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    Replies
    1. I know POs are just human beings and there must be good ones and bad ones, can you give us a rough idea how frequently you met the good ones?

      I feel very sorry for them: it must be virtually impossible to maintain any sort of competency or culture of care in the background of people that think it's ok to call prisoners "maggots".

      Although I presume only the least engaged and intelligent would bother to show up here just to troll, so I guess our friend is probably not the PS's greatest beacon of enlightenment. It's a pity they're probably too dumb to realise just how little they're achieving their aims and how stupid they are making themselves look, although trolling trolls is quite good fun, so perhaps it's not such a pity after all *evil grin*

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  8. Changing the subject Ben so as not to feed the ignorant person's ego. Reading your post I thought how lucky you are to have the editor and how difficult it would have been for you to come out to no-one. Maybe this is a direction you could look at in supporting prisoners who are not as lucky as you. Also you have this blog where the majority support you and this must help.

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  9. http://www.thesmartcrowd.com/workers/job-opportunities/

    I have a friend that does this. It's grunt work apparently, but it's money and it won't stop you from looking for something outside of the home in the "real world".

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  10. HoHOHo! If not maggots then they certainly are VERMIN.Some of you people need to take a long hard look at life in general & the stance that you take.There are victims/elderly people that need support & not these scumbags.This will be my last post on this sorry blog.Please find something far more constuctive to do. I will not divulge any info on my personal life to you other than to say I have no regrets & my service for the Queen has been long & exemplary-unlike some on here! Adios amigos!

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    Replies
    1. Well HoHoHo, thank you for a small window into your life.
      We are all just a couple of small steps away from lock up, all it takes is one or two things to go wrong in the wrong circumstances.
      And, your service for the Queen, I don't really think six months on "Call of Duty, Black Ops" counts, do you?
      People do change, and there is even hope for you.
      Now run along like a good little boy, or someone might slap the back of your legs...

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    2. By supporting people like Ben and helping them not to reoffend, we are also helping the victims they would otherwise have created.

      Do you really find that concept so difficult to understand?

      Delete
  11. I wonder what the Queen would say if she read his comments and saw his attitude.

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  12. "A bloody good screw" - Well, we all need one of those from time to time.

    Sad man though - Voluntarily choosing to spend the best years of his life employed in penal institutions where his day to day work offered him nothing more rewarding than dreaming of retirement. The man's quite literally wished his life away, pitiable really - And he calls Ben sad, oh the ironing.

    Good to see you out anyway Ben.

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