Saturday, October 20, 2012

Ancient prison saying

How can you tell when the governor is lying? His lips move...


  1. Very good... Here's two more ancient prison sayings.. " how can you tell when a prisoners lying?" .. You don't need to try; it's all they do!!!
    Or how about " how can you tell when a female teacher is completely on the shelf and has zero self respect?" .. She gets a job in a prison education dept, starts a sordid secretive affair with a prisoner, breaches all the trust placed in her and calls it a love story.....

    Touché methinks ...

    1. How about a favorite of mine...

      Prisoner to Guard. "Can I get in trouble for thinking?"

      Guard to Prisoner. "No, of course not..."

      Prisoner to Guard. "Good, because I 'think' you're a c**t!"

    2. Or, con to screw.... " boss, what do you take home from this job?" ... Screw.. " nothing except the shit on my shoes and the stink of you lot on my shirt" con says.. " that's pretty crap innit, don't you wish you had a better job?" Screw says " no, it's not a problem cos I wipe the shit on your doormat as I go into your place and your wife washes the shirts after I've shagged her, now bang up son cos I've got places to be!!"

    3. You forgot to mention that the above (phantom) scenario might only occur if you had 10-15 of your bully-boy pals standing behind you!

    4. @anon 8.51am. Obviously a screw with access to my prison file. Abusing me is one thing, abusing the woman I have been in a relationship for over 5 years with is quite another.

      In different circumstances I would delete your comment for being plain abusive. But as you must be a screw, hiding your identity behind Anon, I let the comment stand. Why? So that your pathetic and spiteful bile can be read for all eternity, justifying my contempt for your clan.

      I ask that readers compare the quality of comments left here by screws with the ones I left on their site. And that says it all really. Sad.

    5. For a supposedly educated man Ben you take a simplistic view of things. You seem to think that it's reasonable to denigrate prison staff on a regular basis, sometimes attempting to dress your own version of bile as humorous, sometimes trying to pass it off as worldly wise truisms ( strange concept coming from someone who's world was bordered north south east and west by prison walls for the past 3 decades) but - nonetheless - you still feel it appropriate to denigrate prison staff from nurses to screws to governors ( but, interestingly, not education staff). None of this is surprising. But what does surprise is your squeals of outrage when someone has a small ( maybe close to home in the case of your " love affair") pop back at you and your acolytes. Get real Ben, you're not the only one who knows who the system works and remember this Internet is a great big community and there may be many people in that community who know just as much as you .... Or ( highly unlikely) even more than you !!!

    6. Simple.... try to add to the debate, which includes using bad practice on the part of staff to illustrate broader points. the screws who are commenting here are attempting to merely denigrate and abuse. Compare their contributions here with mine at the screws blog and the difference is stark and embarrassing. And illegally using confidential information gained in public office to dig at those close to me says it all.

      When I randomly pop at screws, them popping back is fair enough. I have never been shy of a row! But at present its me being reasonable, but them being plain abusive and I know why. It's an old screw mentality - any disagreement is met with as much overwhelming force as they can muster, because even the politest disagreement is regarded as a personal attack. it is a sign of being weak.

      Carry on commenting - unlike I don't ban anyone - but while the comments from screws continue to be abusive as opposed to contributory, it makes my case far better than I could about the quality of some staff.

      Must go now, getting ready to be interviewed re Cameron's speech. Why me and not you? Because I have the stones to put my name to my words, and I can add a little conceptual or abstract thought into them as well...

    7. Simple?? "When I randomly take a swipe at screws" .. Why?? What purpose does that serve? What purpose did the "ancient prison sayings" post serve??
      Why not post some blogs that discuss more pertinent and thought provoking issues?

      Here's one... Staff corruption in the prison service... Which is worse.. A screw who trafficks drugs, phones or whatever into a prison, a screw who steals prisoners property, a screw who likes to give prisoners a good kicking in the block, a governor who gives ROTL for bribes or ( let's say) a teacher ( or even a screw) who has an affair with a serving prisoner???
      That sort of debate would (IMO) be more enlightening than you random swipes at staff... As for the interview ref Cameron's speech, good luck, but please try to be more balanced than your blog has been or all you'll end up doing is giving the Tory buffoon more kudos than he ever dreamt possible !!!

    8. If you don't like my topics, don't bloody read them! My blog, my decision. Feel free to write your own.

    9. Hmmmm... Weakest answer ( if you can call it an answer) that I've ever seen you blog Ben!!!
      Think I will continue to read ( and comment) because that's freedom of choice; surely you would endorse that freedom Ben? Wouldn't you??

    10. @ Anon

      This is in relation to what you said to Darby, and as such may be a tad late, for which I apologise.
      A prisoner being rude to a guard may not be all sweetness and light, but you can respect them for standing up when the balance of power is weighted against them. By contrast, the guard in your scenario (I can't really call it a joke, as it was more desperate than funny) has the power on his side. The fact that he chooses that circumstance for the release of his petty vindictiveness shows that, as Darby suggested, he is probably afraid of a fair fight. In short, your "joke" mostly serves to make prison guards look weak and childish.

      You apparently don't understand that a person who has power over others needs to hold him or herself to a higher standard of behaviour. That makes it rather concerning to me that you seem to be in such a position yourself.

    11. @ jess

      Your assumption that I'm a screw based on my earlier post underlines your naïveté about prisons, prisoners and prison staff..
      The whole point of the post was to attempt to inject some balance into this one sided, one way street Ben fan club .
      What purpose does it serve to continue to harangue screws when your no longer inside? None really, it won't change anything nor will it undo any perceived wrongs that Ben may feel were inflicted on him whilst he was inside.
      As for " admiring the prisoner who stands up against the balance of power" be careful; if you follow that to its natural conclusion it leads to dangerous territory... Ben suggests that society continues to punish ex-offenders, if this is true ( not true IMO) where does you "admired" ex-offender turn when the doors of opportunity are closed to him/her?? Back to crime.. If it was your bag he snatched or your kid he ran over and killed or your grandma he mugged would you still have the same degree of admiration?

    12. @ Anon

      I have never claimed any expertise on prison, or anything related to it. I did not make the assumption you mention, but rather picked it up from others on the thread, on the basis that you don't seem to have contradicted it anywhere. Regardless of who you are or what you do, it doesn't influence the main point about balance of power affecting the tone of an interation, merely how troubling it would be if you don't understand that.

      I'm not sure why you have "admired" in quotes there, since you are the first one to use the word. I said I could respect that they were willing to stand up to authority, which is not remotely similar to the unquialified "admiration" you seem to be describing. I can respect someone's courage and still disapprove of what they do with it. For example, I can respect that you are willing to stick around in an area where most commentors disagree with you, but still think that your response to Darby came of as desperate and childish instead of funny because it failed to consider the reversed balance of power. Respecting your fortitude in this one respect does not entail agreement with your opinions or approval of your other actions, and it certainly does not indicate any "admiration".

    13. @anon, one jibe at Governors and you accuse me of always digging at screws - who rarely have a mention on this blog! That's a screw mentality - even the merest whisper of dissent and the hackles rise....

  2. What I most enjoy about screws commenting on the blog is that with every word they manage to dig themselves deeper into their hole, reinforcing every prejudice and highlighting every bad attitude I have mentioned over the years. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!