Over-friendly neighbours

Two men decided that they fancied a night together. Whilst this sort of thing goes on, it isn't as common as popular myth would have it and some secrecy is necessary. The public face of machismo must be preserved.

And so matey took a leaf out of a war-film and made a dummy to put in his bed, whilst he secreted himself into his neighbour’s cell. He also turned his radio on, just to add to the impression that the occupier was actually in. At bang-up, the screw was fooled by the bundle under the blankets and locked him in. Roll all correct. So far, so good.

As these two lovebirds got down to business, they forgot one thing. As the night went on, the wing became quieter and quieter as people settled down to sleep. This made matey’s radio sound ever louder until, by ll.00 pm, others started to shout at him to turn it down. No response. People became ever more fractious.

A screw appears and begins to bang on the door, demanding matey turn the radio down. Busted. Matey's embarrassed voice echoed down the wing from his lover's cell, "I'm in here, Guv..."