Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Enemy Within

Having yet another lunchtime interrupted by a raid by Security in their perpetual hunt for a mobile phone that I don't possess is something I'm getting used to.

This time, though, I have solid information that this move wasn't prompted by an annoyed manager, but rather it led from "information received" from one of my fellow cons.  In plain terms, I've been told that someone is out to do me in.

The temptation is these circumstances is to try to work out who the grassing bastard is.  It is rare to ever pin down who's been pointing the finger and so to yield to this temptation is to enter a Looking Glass world of paranoia and suspicion.  It can poison you against people you mix with, lead you to look askance at all around you.

I've never been inclined to follow that route.  I have no phone, and someone wants to do me harm...that's all I need to know to stay on guard.

It is depressing to know that there are those prisoners who willingly sell their soul to the institution by trying to damage the lives of their peers.  Why?


  1. This is very disconcerting Ben, I guess people who act in a way to trouble another might have many complicated motivations for doing so.

    The one that springs immediately to mind is jealousy. They see someone and maybe feel jealous of them, they probably lack self esteem themselves and they want to cause trouble in someones life, because they feel bad in themselves and can't face up to their own inadequacies.

    I would find it very frightening myself because I know how some people really don't care at all, not about themselves or others, they might unthinkingly and uncaringly go with the dominant ideas around them; i.e try to please those in authority which means making them a grass.

    Its not the same as what you face, but for me, I am constantly being watched and monitored, the staff in the institutions I attend ask me all sorts of questions and then disappear into thier office frantically scribbling notes. My attitude varies; although it can upset me, most of the time I am thinking they are free to watch and moniter me all they like just as I am free to act and articulate in the way I do, and I carry on as if nothing sinister is going on (which might be the case anyway).

    Another related aside for you, I suffered a rather large witch hunt a few years ago, and although it did hurt, it was also quite funny, there were all these people who thought I was so important, they had meetings to discuss me and wrote letters about me, even to this day it makes me laugh out loud.

    My advice to myself and to you now is never fear, always try and see the funny side of things, carry on regardless and try not to dwell on these people and what motivates them to do such things, just let it all run off your back.

    Stand tall with your feet firmly on the ground, you are you, just like I am me and we have a right to be here just as much as anyone else.

    Best wishes Ben x

  2. 'The grass is always 'meaner' on the inside!'

  3. The technology is readily available to bar mobile telecomms within a certain radius.

    Why isn't it employed?

    Would the screws not like the decrease in 'take home' pay?

  4. Lets not make any excuses for these lowlifes, but most 'tip-offs' are done by the way of an anonymous note in the mailbox, and therefore the 'grass' rarely sees any improvement regarding their own situation as a result. From this fact, I can only concur, that in some warped way, he/they ARE jealous of a man who has been incarcerated for Thirty birthdays.

    Step lightly in there Ben.

  5. @ Anon 9.04...
    I think you are right when you say 'would the screws not like the decrease in take home pay'. Anyone who has any contact with prisoners know the 'screws' are one of the main sources of smuggling phones,amongst other things into prisons.

    @ Derby
    Hear Hear!! and can I add, to Ben...Stay safe.

  6. The troublemaker could be acting out of jealousy that you the attention from people outside the prison, that he craves.

    As for the mobile phones: In one large prison in Asia prisoners ‘phones were blocked, but also those of people living in the up market suburb that surrounds it. This created a huge uproar, and a rapid lifting of the blocking software, to loud cheers from the prison inmates.