Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Jug

If I'm known for anything amongst my fellow prisoners it's for being absurdly opinionated - and for my jug.  Or, The Jug.

For reasons that remain a medical mystery, I dehydrate extremely quickly.  To stave off this dry mouth, decades ago I discovered that drinking a constant supply of tea and coffee was the only sensible way forward.

And I mean, constantly.  To such a degree that a mere cup, or mug, is but a toy.  I drink out of a one litre water jug, at the rate of around ten litres a day.  My coffee bill is eye-watering!

And in the way of connoisseurs, I hold that scrubbing the jug clean has the same detrimental effect as scrubbing the inside of a teapot.  Valuable tannins are lost, the flavour badly effected.

This leads to The Jug...unscrubbed for about 6 years, its inner surface is dark brown.  It really does look disgusting. So wedded am I to my jug that I take it on transfers, to avoid the problems that may accrue if that prison doesn't issue these water jugs.

It has served me well.  Along with my tobacco tin, it has kept me company and shared many, many experiences.  They may be the only artifacts of prison that I take home on release.  The Editor is not impressed!


  1. Not surprised you are thirsty all the time, tea and coffee are diuretics.

  2. Thankfully, gone are the days, when the only hot drink available was the prison tea which was 'affectionately' known as diesel!

  3. Its called being a student at university level...don't worry, it is perfectly normal.

  4. Ben, mate, I have a friend like yourself, who constantly knocks back tea and and coffee - but as Infamous noted, both drinks are diuretics and just dehydrate you even more! How about trying a week on something - anything - else? You may find the thirst dissipates...