Monday, July 25, 2011

'Elf and Safety

A genuine dwarf Lifer arrived on the wing. Who - and how - he killed was subject to wide and surreal speculation.

As we approached Christmas, and entertainment and dope needed to be arranged, we hit upon the idea of a dwarf-throwing contest. Simplicity  itself; just lay a line of mattresses down the landing and heave the little fella a few times.

The Wing Manager got wind of this wheeze and stole our dwarf away "for his own protection".

It may be relevant that this took place before we had television.  Boredom can lead to strange avenues for distraction!


  1. Probably just as much for your own protection, dwarfs are deceptively strong and can have ferocious tempers if you get on the wrong side of them. Still, he probably remembers it and you very well, some have meticulous memories, and you never know, might find yourself one on one on a wing with him again one day. A hasty apology would probably suit best, huh?

  2. Of course it's the 'system' to blame for such an offensive idea? I'm assuming the prisoner in question was not intent on giving consent.

  3. I may be wrong, but it's my guess (and sincere hope!) that this chap was as much up for it as anyone. Anything else would be bullying in my opinion.

  4. Prison disrespect to dwarfs intended but the image just cracks me up!! How politically incorrect is that?


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