Monday, August 16, 2010

Eviction Notices

The Area Manager for the South West wants to make some space here so he can ship in 35 people to do the silly, expensive and ineffective Offending Behaviour Courses. This means kicking 35 of us out.

There are two ways of doing this. The first is to stick up a notice asking for volunteers to move. You'd be surprised just how many people don't want to be here! This way, you have a bunch of reasonably content cons going from A to B without problems.

Or you could send out 60 snotty letters to cons telling them to pack their kit and get out. This way, you are guaranteed to piss people off. Everybody's solicitor starts firing in to the Governor and the receiving prison is landed with scores of highly disgruntled prisoners.

Guess which option the management here chose? And I am one of the lucky ones who received this cunningly worded invitation to fuck off.

Alas! Whenever my next parole hearing is, the judge has demanded that a witness from the Security Dept here is in attendance. If I'm in another nick, that won't happen and so disrupt the hearing. Moving me, then, would be a disaster. But I wonder...did they consider my research? At any moment did management wonder if this putative move would undermine my PhD and future career? No, of course not. Ladies and gentlemen, you pay through the nose to have prisons run by idiots.

One interesting sideline on this transfer though. A Senior Officer has been heard saying, "Ben Gunn...that will teach him...transfer...who does he think he is with his writing and his website. . ?”


  1. The Prison Service is dedicated to treating prisoners with decency in a caring and secure environment. This is a very important area of our work and requires our staff develop positive relationships with prisoners. We believe that by treating people with decency, they will be more likely to go on to live useful and law-abiding lives that will benefit them as individuals and society as a whole.

    Well, it makes nice words...

  2. If only that were so Charles. As part of rehabilitation prisoners should be treated with dignity and respect - especially if they behave in a way that is dignified and respectful. The prison should be proud of the fact that they have a prisoner (Ben) who is competent and literate and should encourage and enable others to follow Ben's example. Prisoners are far less likely to reoffend if they have been treated properly and can form positive relationships with others - I must say in my dealings with prison officers there have been one or two who behave compassionately and humanely with prisoners - but not many.

  3. A letter? That's a bit posh!!! I got a screw unlock the door and should "pack your stuff, you're moving to Shrewsbury. From Bullingdon. 110 miles from my family. And half an hour's notice!!!