Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Let's Get Personal Week cont...

2. Murder is often a deeply selfish crime. I know that mine was. Through no fault of his own, my victim found himself as the focus of my despair and fear. He was utterly blameless, and in my overwhelming emotion I killed him. Did I intend to? Consciously, I would say not, because "thought" wasn't present, only emotion.
Does this make any difference? In a narrowly technical and legal sense, some people may try to argue the difference between murder and manslaughter. Personally, that's not something I've ever been concerned with. I killed him. Because of me, he is dead. The bureaucratic, legal paperwork that litters my life is irrelevant in the face of that permanent and overwhelming fact. He is dead, I killed him.


  1. Yes Ben, you did. To me what shines through in all of this is your remorse and acceptance that what you did was indeed a terrible act. Given what I know about your earlier years I say, 'there but for the grace of The Gods go I' not sure I could accept the guilt so easily. Nor the lifelong price you have paid.

  2. In my opinion Ben, the obvious remorse you feel, outweighs the equally obvious difficulty you have, in defining that remorse.