Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Please Sir, may I have more..?

The food that is shovelled, with various degrees of wit or sarcasm, across the servery towards us seems to exert a weird hold over the minds of tabloid editors and some silly politicians.

A new order from HQ has been revealed, apparently stating that we should have five choices for our main meal. Five! Or, as some numb-nut from the Taxpayers Alliance has it, "five star" catering. Shock! Horror!

You know what happens now, don't you? You know that beneath the manufactured outrage and grandstanding - Phillip Davies MP pops up yet again - there is a layer of truth that these blatherers neither reveal nor care to learn? It is ever so.

We are entitled to only one hot meal a day. Even But1ins does better than that and to describe this as being Five Star is a tad, hmmm, hyperbolic..?

The five choices is actually true. Normal, veggie, vegan, Halal and low-fat. So, in reality, many cons only have one choice, the only ones who can range across the menu being those on a 'normal’ diet, who opt to wander into meatless heaven on occasion.

Why give us any choice? Why not cold gruel for every meal? Because giving us a choice - we work by pre-booking meals days ahead - saves a bloody fortune. If we were just sent crap day after day, much of it would end up in the bin. By giving us some (very limited) choice, the odds are increased that we will actually risk eating what is delivered.

All of this is provided no increase in the food budget, which remains less than it costs to feed your average dog.

But of course, if ill-informed minor politicians and ignorant pressure groups actually want money to be wasted and increase the risk of our dragging our gruel-fuelled carcases onto the roof in protest, then let them have the stones to come out and say it. Loud and clear.

No? Didn't think so.


  1. I liked prison food, stop ya moanin ben.

    If you can do a better job git off your arse and work in the kitchen.

  2. anon, feel free to read that post again! It seems to be a dig against those who object to prison menu choices and not in any way a complaint about prison food.

  3. I always get annoyed when I read in the paper about prisoners having 5 star treatment. It's usually written by journos with little or no understanding or knowledge of their chosen subject matter.

    I have to be honest and say that I've largely dealt with the wide spread problem of rubbish journalism by not reading newspapers any more and avoiding the TV news unless there's really nothing else on.

  4. No it doesnt mad albert maybe you should read it again.

  5. I did read somewhere that they only spend £1.27 a day per prisoner on their food, which is so wrong to me